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BREAKING: Man Claims He Invented Deep Dish Pizza, Provides No Evidence • ALERT: Lake Michigan Reportedly 'In a Mood' Today • DEVELOPING: Entire Brown Line Train Replaced by Single Guy With a Tuba • UPDATE: City Council Votes to Make Dibs an Official Olympic Sport • BREAKING: Pedestrian Achieves Impossible — Crosses Michigan Ave Without Jaywalking • ALERT: Wind Advisory Upgraded to 'Why Do We Live Here' Warning • DEVELOPING: Local Hot Dog Stand Refuses Service to Man Carrying Ketchup • UPDATE: Sears Tower Officially Changes Name Back After Nobody Used the New One BREAKING: Man Claims He Invented Deep Dish Pizza, Provides No Evidence • ALERT: Lake Michigan Reportedly 'In a Mood' Today • DEVELOPING: Entire Brown Line Train Replaced by Single Guy With a Tuba • UPDATE: City Council Votes to Make Dibs an Official Olympic Sport • BREAKING: Pedestrian Achieves Impossible — Crosses Michigan Ave Without Jaywalking • ALERT: Wind Advisory Upgraded to 'Why Do We Live Here' Warning • DEVELOPING: Local Hot Dog Stand Refuses Service to Man Carrying Ketchup • UPDATE: Sears Tower Officially Changes Name Back After Nobody Used the New One

Pedestrian Crossing Signals on State Street Begin Giving Unsolicited Life Advice

Walk signals across a twelve-block stretch of State Street have started displaying personal messages to pedestrians, ranging from gentle encouragement to pointed observations about their life choices.

By Marcus Williams — Mar 3, 2026

Early Voting Machines Across Cook County Develop Strong Political Opinions, Refuse to Remain Nonpartisan

Elmo Announces 2028 Presidential Bid, Immediately Leads in Three Polls

Latest News

Chicago Weather Achieves Self-Awareness, Admits It's 'Just Making Stuff Up at This Point'

By Marcus Williams — Mar 2, 2026

CTA Announces L Train Delays Now Caused by Trains 'Taking Mental Health Days'

By Marcus Williams — Mar 1, 2026

Chicago Deep Dish Pizza Granted UNESCO World Heritage Status Over Italy's Objections

By Sofia Russo — Mar 1, 2026

Science & Environment

Lake Michigan Water Levels Drop Another 7 Inches as Lake Reportedly 'Going Through Something'

By James Okafor — Mar 3, 2026

Lake Michigan Offers to Share Water With Drought-Stricken Downstate, Demands Naming Rights in Return

By James Okafor — Mar 2, 2026

Business & Technology

Startup Claims Mysterious Chemical Smell That Blanketed Chicago Was Actually 'Ambient Brand Activation'

By Rachel Kim — Mar 3, 2026

Oil Price Spike Threatens Chicago's Deep Dish Supply Chain, Economists Warn of 'Cheese Shortage by April'

By Rachel Kim — Mar 2, 2026

Loop Startup Raises $200M to 'Harvest and Monetize' Chicago's Wind

By Rachel Kim — Mar 1, 2026

Opinion & Lifestyle

I Went to North Side Restaurant Week and Everything Had Foam on It

By Tom Hennessey — Mar 3, 2026

Pulaski Day Confusion Reaches New Heights as Man Claims He Met Casimir Pulaski at a Jewel-Osco

By Sofia Russo — Mar 2, 2026

Chicago Meteorologists Confirm: This Was the Winter That Finally Broke the City's Spirit

By James Okafor — Feb 28, 2026